Criminal Activities
From This Might Be A Wiki
Songs about or referencing actions of dubious legality
Central theme[edit]
- AKA Driver - Driving under the influence, speeding
- Black Ops
- Christmas Cards - Robbery: "Every Christmas card I write has been stolen"
- Flo Wheeler - Reckless driving: "Flo Wheeler, pick a lane / 'Cause your driving is driving everybody insane"
- Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had A Deal - Payola, fraud
- Hodgman Promo 3 - "Skipped out on $1200 in back rent", "Masturbating out the window"
- If I Wasn't Shy - Arson - "I'd burn..."; grand theft auto - "I'd steal somebody's Cadillac"; theft - "I'd steal anything I lack/...all the microphones from all the masters of ceremony"
- I'll Sink Manhattan
- I'm Your Boyfriend Now - Stalking
- It Never Fails
- It's Fun To Steal
- I've Learned The Value Of Human Sacrifice
- Irving Plaza - Counterfeit
- Lesson 16 - Murder
- Los Angeles - Purposeful plagiarism
- Mr. Mischief Night - Stalking, spying
- No One Knows My Plan
- Ondine - Assault, attempted murder, "Run over my body with a pick-up truck", "Don't make me kill you again, because I couldn't bear to kill you again"
- Out Of Jail - grand theft auto, "It was like a T.V. show, the way she stole that car"
- Protagonist
- Replicant - "Go out the back and I'll deal with the cops"
- Reprehensible
- The Shadow Government
- Somebody Took My Eyeball
- Spoiler Alert - Distracted driving, especially in the form of "making a phone call," is illegal in most of the United States.
- Stone Cold Coup D'État
Briefly mentioned[edit]
- 7-11 - "Shoplifting is a crime"
- Aaa - "I wonder what's inside this ticking package that's addressed to me?"' Presumably a mail bomb
- Alienation's For The Rich - Drunk driving "Just drinkin' and a drivin"
- The Ballad Of Davy Crockett (In Outer Space) - "He knows who's guilty before there's even a crime"
- Bangs (McSweeney's Version) - "Can you murder with your style?"
- Bastard Wants To Hit Me - Attempted assault and battery
- Burnice - "The thieving deceiving Burnice"
- Call Connected Thru The NSA - "Suspending your rights"
- Careless Santa - Robbery
- Celebration - "Perpetrators of invisible crimes"
- Celebrities - "They steal my soul"
- Certain People I Could Name - Murder
- Doom Doom - "The leader of the gang"
- Erase - "When darlings must be murdered"; "Please don't call it strangulation", "The mercy kill that can't be drowned"
- The Fellowship Of Hell - "They steal your concentration"
- Fun Assassin - "Hijack the parade"
- Hate The Villanelle - "Are those real crimes?"
- Haunted Floating Eye - "Until I killed someone"
- I've Got A Match - Animal cruelty, "Beat up the cat"
- Lee Harvey Was A Friend Of Mine - "They say he shot the president", "Someone faked that photo", "Jack Ruby killed Lee Harvey"
- My Evil Twin - Reckless driving - "Doing doughnuts on the neighbor's lawn"
- Nice 'N' Easy - "To rush would be a crime"
- Now Is Strange - "Have you seen that naughty boy / Who steals each blade of grass"
- Poison Flowers - Murder, theft, destruction of public property
- Scott Bower - "Don't make me steal"
- Sketchy Galore - "Stolen by Sketchy, Mr. Sketchy Galore"
- Subway Token To Brooklyn - "Claims he killed our parents"
- This Land Is Your Land - "Get off of my land, I'll kill you now"
- Tigerella - Assault
- To A Forest - Assault and Kidnapping, "They'll knock us out and drag us to a forest"
- Turn Around - Murder, "a man I had recently killed"
- Unctuous Robot - Forgery
- Valentine - "More damned than some vandals in a shrine"
- We Live In A Dump - Vagrancy
- When It Rains It Snows - Murder
- When Will You Die - "Are there crimes that you have never committed?"
- Whence That Wince - "In a stolen sterling stein"
- Whistling In The Dark - Assault
- The World's Address (Joshua Fried Remix) - "Someone in the club tonight has stolen my ideas"
- Wreck It Apart - "Don't make me kill you again"
- Yeah, The Deranged Millionaire - Gambling
- You'll Miss Me - "Morticians wait with a shovel and a fork as detectives trace my hands with chalk"
Honorable mentions[edit]
- Aren't You The Guy Who Hit Me In The Eye? - Inquiry on assault
- Experimental Film - In the H*R video, Strong Bad and Strong Mad are shown stealing money from the ATM
- Iowa - Witchcraft
- Long Tall Weekend - The album cover and some of the pages in the liner notes
- Moonbeam Rays alludes to the act of placing someone under a curse
