Lyrics:Agent Double-0-Soul

(Double-0-Soul) I dig rock-n-roll music
I can do the twine and the jerk
I wear strictly continental suits
And high-collar shirts
I got a reputation for being gentle but bold
And that's why they call me:

Agent Double-0-Soul, baby!
They call me Double-0-Soul
Agent Double-0-Soul
They call me Double-0-Soul
Talkin' about it, come on.

I don't carry a pistol (how about a disguise?  do you wear a disguise?)
I don't need a false mustache
And you'll never see me carrying around a little black bag (attache!)
My real name's no secret
But from me, it will never be told
I'm just known as:

Agent Double-0-Soul, baby!
They call me Double-0-Soul
They call me Double-0-Soul, baby
Agent Double-0-Soul
Come on!

There once was a fella
Who was tearing on rock-n-roll
He couldn't get together
He didn't have no kind of soul
Office put me on the case
And I tracked them down right away
Now he's a DJ in a radio show
And we can bet everybody knows

Agent Double-0-Soul!

Jed, Jed, I think it's time that we vamped now...

[strange, homoerotic vamp discussions ensue with interspersed groans from Jed, followed by the hi-hat and Mr. Jeremy Chatzky on the fuzz-bass- here's a loose transcription]

I wanna vamp with you Jed
(I wanna vamp with you John)
On Valentine's Day
((?) Valentine's Day vamp)
Because more than about romantic love, baby
Valentine's Day's about real love
Friendship love, guy love.
(I've got nothing to add to that.)
I love you man!
Vamp with me now!
(grunt)
To the V to the A to the M to the P
Back and forth baby!
(Back and back and forth baby!)
Back, forth!
Back, forth!
Back, front, back forth
back, front, back forth!
(screeching and general weirdness)
People, put your hands together like you're at an Alabama concert!
Right up over your heads people!
We're gonna break it down now to just the hi-hat, the people
On the drum people don't let me down now.
We're gonna break it down to just the hi-hat, the fuzz bass, 
and the people clapping 
here we go! (starts to say Jeremy) 

I said you might like to hear some Chatzky 
I said-a ride Chatzky, ride.

People! A little louder clapping 
with a little less feeling, come on!
Damn!
(hup, hup)
Check this shit out!
Alright, the high one, the high one. 
We've been rehearsing this all day.
Jeremy Chatzky on the lead bass ladies and gentlemen.
Show your love!
When I say "Jeremy Chatzky", you say "hell yeah!"
Jeremy Chatzky!
Jeremy Chatzky!
Jeremy Chatzky!
Jeremy Chatzky!
(Jeremy Chatzky!)

Double-0-Soul, baby
Double-0-Soul
Double-0-Soul, baby
My Double-0-Soul