Lyrics:Battle For The Planet Of The Apes (Live At Large)
| Battle For The Planet Of The Apes (Live At Large) |
| By: They Might Be Giants |
| Year: 2012 |
JF: Ladies and gentlemen, it's no secret that They Might Be Giants lives in a dream world of tolerance and acceptance, and, you know, we don't, we don't like breaking through that, that—that bubble, breaking out of that bubble, into the real world, where we're no longer able to...float high above the gravitational pull of the world in—in our little cocoon of...of fragile and, and unjustifiable musical ideas. But ladies and gentlemen, there comes a time in every hour-and-forty-minute rock show where a band simply has to embrace intolerance for three minutes, and divide not only their band, but like the Civil War, divide their audience directly in half, ladies and gentlemen. Now, I'm not sure if anyone in the audience has ever experienced, uh, Lasik surgery, but what I'm holding right here in my hands is the actual device that some of the uh, some of the off-shore doctors like to use. So this is how it's gonna work, we're gonna divide the audience directly in half. Directly in half. If—oh, wait, that's for me. No, it's not for me, ladies and gentlemen. See how bright this is? You don't want to stand in front of that light. Please step to the right or the left of this light, ladies and gentlemen, as quickly as possible. Quick like bunnies. Lady, lady you know what to do. Dude, this is not a time to be an individual. Miss, I'm going to—I'm not going to turn this off until you get to the left or right. You just...just a little bit that way or a little bit the other way. Dude, please help your friend. This is her rock bottom. All right everybody, miss, just a little bit to the right, please, you, I'm pointing—yes—to the right, to the right. We need a clear means of egress in case members of the band have to leave right away. This is really, this is the funnest part of the show for uh...for me. We'd like to uh...say hello to the one-percenters over there. You're not foolin' us with your altruism. All right so everybody, this is what happens: These guys here, Danny, Dan, and...and Danny...Dan, Marty, Danny. They represent the People. They're your representatives on stage, ladies and gentlemen. People on the right, people on the right we need you to put your right fist in the air and chant this word: "People! People! People! People!" Audience: People! People! People! People! JF: A little bit louder—no wait, a lot louder Audience: People! People! People! People! People! JF: OK, stop Audience: People! Pe— JF: That was OK. All right, there's only two rules to Ape Club, that's when the People are chanting the word "people", the Apes do not chant. When the Apes are chanting the word "apes", the People do not chant. The one-percenters, for the first time in your life, you get nothing. All right, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, people over here, please put your left fist in the air, you are representing the Apes, John and I will be performing your ape music, put—when we're playing, you chant the word "Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape!" Audience: Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! JF: Louder! Audience: Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! JF: More spirit, less feeling! Audience: Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! JF: Get it together, people! Come on! Audience: Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! Ape! JF: OK. OK, I think we have prepared for the next segment. We like to have soundchecks because we are professionals, ladies and gentlemen, and we like to keep it musical. Which brings us to this next portion of the show: the Ape portion of the show. It starts with the People. Right fists in the air, everybody! Here we go! People! People! People: People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! Apes: Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! People: People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! Apes: Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! People: People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! Apes: Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! People: People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! People! JF: The People win. Apes: Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! Apes! JF: It is a small consolation to the Apes that they will now...infiltrate the people for the rest of the evening. And after the performance, in the streets outside, spontaneous chicken fights will erupt between the Apes and the People. Because Apes do not forget, ladies and gentlemen. They do not forget the injustices that were done here, live, on the Fillmore performance space. It just wasn't fair. |
