Interpretations:NVNC AVT NVMQVAM

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Passive-aggression

It's a tale of passive-aggression. The narrator has a goal in mind, maybe a political one judging from the mention of the Forum, but to get to place where he can achieve it has used tools that render achieving it impossible.

I get the sense of passive-aggression from the narrator because of the talk of deception and ending up a little trapped in one's place in the background. He worked hard to get to his position, but he can't get any further without revealing his true nature, and so he is trapped in politeness forever. After all, passive-aggression is the result of a person using what little they have to send the message they've been wanting to send anyhow.

Alas, political assassinations require daggers, not manners.

Autistic/Neurodivergent masking

I think this song tells the story of an autistic/neurodivergent person, who we’ll just call Kite Kid for now, who tries to mask himself by studying someone he admires. In the beginning of the song, the first few lyrics tell us that Kite Kid is “angry and ill-mannered.” While it doesn’t go into detail on exactly what he does, the lyrics that follow it give us some more context on how KK probably isn’t very approachable or polite.

By studying you from a distance, I learned the art of smiling. By watching how you behave, I trained myself to be polite

Many autistic people may come off as rude for many different reasons, not because we’re intentionally being rude but just because we may struggle with social cues, eye contact, or getting overwhelmed easily. KK is someone who gets upset easily, and can be “rude/unpleasant” to other people. I’m sure this “bad behavior” is caused by his own discomfort and frustration with the neurotypical people above him and around him.

When he sees someone who’s neurotypical, who we’ll just call Cloud (get it…kites soar in the sky…and clouds are in the sky…) he tries to become like them so he can talk to them. He copies their behavior and smile, and tries to be a polite, “normal” person. He became “Good.”

By trying to deceive, I ended up shy. By wanting to lie, I became good. I became good

The chorus is really interesting to me. KK was basically trying to copy someone who was “normal” and mask all of his autistic traits. This causes him to become “shy.” A common autistic masking tactic is shutting down, basically becoming quiet and reserved and shy to avoid being judged or socially unacceptable. “By wanting to lie, I became good,” is so obviously about hiding your real self to fit in with society and become a “good human.”

Now I'm too scared To say hello And I'm too shy To say hi. Each day when I see you in the forum My courage drains away

Again. KK isn’t his real self. He’s his overly polite, shut down, smiley, passive self now. Now, he can’t possibly talk to Cloud…if he tries, he’ll just be impolite and awkward and weird. No. He must stay normal now.

I’m sure this interpretation is very speculative, but I still like it nonetheless!! In the best timeline, Kite Kid finds out he’s autistic and the world can accommodate him, and he’ll be able to talk to Cloud in a way that works for him. But this song probably takes place in Ancient Rome, so I doubt that would happen…poor guy :(

7/25/24 edit: changed some of my word choices/phrasing around, not only have I learned more about autism but I’ve also found out I have it, too! I wrote this in January, when I was still on the fence about everything. I’m happy with myself now :D