1990-04-30 Smash Hits
John Flansbury of They Might Be Giants Guide to Life
By John Flansburgh, Smash Hits, April 30, 1990
Archived from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/tabloidfootprints/33863723442
Contents
HEALTH
"I just remember all the things my mom told me to do as a kid that I never did, and I do 'em. Sit up straight, eat vegetables... It's hard because we're on the road pretty much all the time so we're on the amazing midnight pizza diet. It's hard to eat healthy. Basically whenever I come across a carrot I'll eat it."
WEALTH
“I’m not that familiar with wealth yet. I’m looking forward to it happening to me. Right now I live in a small one bedroom apartment by myself, which is nice but I’ve been here quite a while and I’m looking forward to having a house. That’s the limit of my bourgeois aspirations. I don’t want fast cars. I could be quite happy with a slow car. A slow car and a small house.”
FASHION
“Wish someone would tell us what to wear. We don’t have a clue! I just dress like my dad. I figure if I dress like my dad 20 years from now I won’t be embarrassed. I wore bellbottoms in the ‘70s which was foolish and I regret it now. Flares are back now but they’ll be embarrassing in 20 years.”
MANNERS
“You mean like no elbows on the table, chew every mouthful? I think it’s a good ideas/ It’s hard to be against manners! I basically live with a rock road crew. It’s a really ‘ain’t no women here!’ feeling - people burp really loud and stuff. You sorta feel like a pirate. Basically I prefer a more genteel, mannered, er, sort of thing.”
PERSONAL HYGIENE
“I’ve recently gotten into the idea of disposable socks because they’re just too horrifying to deal with. I buy these really inexpensive tube socks and wear them for two days and throw them away. Hygiene’s definitely a problem on the road… You end up using a lot of hotel sinks.”
SHOPPING
“I’m a pretty compulsive shopper. I have a serious guitar effect hall of shame! I’ve bought a lot of things that make the guitar make a lot of different sounds, little foot pedals. At the moment when I buy them they seem necessary, but then when I get it home I realise I’m an eight year old and I just bought it because I wanted it and I should give it away, but I don’t and it ends up in my guitar effect hall of shame! I’m getting another one today.”
GAMBLING
“I went to Las Vegas. That was fun. I went with £350 and I played on all these gambling machines for two days, I played roulette and everything. I was willing to lose this money for the joy of gambling and I only lost £10. I couldn’t win or lose. I felt I was in purgatory. It got really boring after a while. I was hoping I would lose really big so it would end.
TRAVEL
“I’m an expert at that. My passport is nearly filled up and I’m wondering what happens when it’s full. I mean, will they let me out of the country again? We spend a lot of time on the road in the part of America where it’s all truck stops and everyone wears cowboy hats and eats apple pie. We have a CB radio because we have two vans, Milli and Vanilli, and we talk to each other. I can say ‘Roger’ and feel good about it!”
HAPPINESS
“I’m all for it. A round of happiness for everyone!”