Lyrics:You Are Old, Father William

"You are old, Father William," the young man said "And your hair has become very white And yet you incessantly stand on your head Do you think, at your age, it is right?"

"In my youth," Father William replied to his son "I feared it might injure the brain But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none Why, I do it again and again

"I am old, I am old I will tell you again, I am old"

"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before And have grown most uncommonly fat Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door Pray, what is the reason of that?"

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his gray locks "I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment, one shilling a box Allow me to sell you a couple?

"I am old, I am old It's a statement, in fact, I am old"

"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak For anything tougher than suet Yet you finish the goose, with the bones and the beak Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law And argued each case with my wife And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw Has lasted the rest of my life

"I am old, I am old There's not much more to say, I am old"

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose That your eye was as steady as ever Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose What made you so awfully clever?"

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough" Said his father, "don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? Be off or I'll kick you downstairs

"Downstairs, downstairs Be off or I'll kick you downstairs!"