Interpretations:Untitled Remix
- Song
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Curious, cautious, suspicious, confused Gloria
Gloria is careful to ensure (and reassure her friend) that this Dial-A-Song thing is NOT a 976 pay-per-call number, which was at that time a cash cow for some deceptive business practices. Apparently the phone she's calling from can't dial 976 numbers - she's probably called the phone company to block them.
Of course this just confuses her more - so exactly how does this Giants guy make money? What's his gimmick, angle, trick, swindle, business model? She rifles through all the possibilities. She notes "the number is 387. That's the first three numbers... that's gotta be in Brooklyn". She can see that it's not some alternate pay-per-call prefix.
Is it a sex-talk line? "No, this ain't nothing dirty." In other excerpts from the recorded conversation, Gloria tries to fit Dial-A-Song into other "Dial-A-<service>" categories (like Dial-A-Balloon) which make money by delivering something to one's home... but of course she's figured out that DAS is not a song-to-house delivery service.
In the end, as we know, she can only conclude that the person behind this whole thing must be a "nut", on the bone-deep dyed-red-white-and-blue assumption that profit is the only sensible motivation for anything. She understands "There Must Be Giants" has gone through the trouble & expense to create some zany music, to put an ad in the paper, to maintain an answering machine, and to put the song on it & say something incomprehensibly unconventional afterwards - but ultimately has failed to require, scam, or even ask for payment. It simply blows her gaskets.
And we love her for that. I know that one fine day in TMBG heaven we'll all get to meet Gloria and laugh together with her & her friend. And there will be a land line connected to a Callmaster 9000, with a cassette tape that can hold a dozen fresh songs plus a weeklong unscripted baffled and baffling conversation. And we'll spend 100 years poring over each one. --Nehushtan (talk) 09:27, 24 January 2020 (EST)
