Lyrics:Toddler Hiway (First Album Live)
|Toddler Hiway (First Album Live)|
|By: They Might Be Giants|
JF: Ladies and Gentlemen! We need to see a sea of hands! People! Your applause is their oxygen; your screams are their nitrogen. Made entirely of wool, they will ruin you for all other puppet shows. Give it up for The Avatars of They!
Green Avatar: Ah!
Blue Avatar: Wah!
BA: Sea of hands people, sea of hands.
BA: Oh, yeah...
GA: Aw. Aw. Aw.
BA: Ah, yeah, ladies and gentlemen, it's hard to express, how excited we are tonight, The Avatars of They. It's no secret that we don't like the later They Might Be Giants songs.
GA: Finally, first album show.
GA: God, the video screen's delayed behind me...
BA: Sell-out! Yes, ladies and gentlemen. We are treble-kicking indie rockers. Livin' small, eco — our carbon footprint is like the size of my eyeball. We live in a suitcase, ladies and gentlemen. We like to keep it simple, back to the Earth. As the Green Avatar likes to say, every day six-feet-under's a good day.
GA: Yes, I did say that.
BA: Yes, you did. You said it right before we went on stage. And then we did the Milli Vanilli chest-bump thing.
GA: That's right, yeah.
BA: Because, ladies and gentlemen, there will be no compromising with the Avatars of They show. It's a different kind of show. Different. Kinda show. So this is, ladies and gentlemen, we were checking out their first album. We liked it; it was good, it was good, y'know. Reminded me of uh, what was that other...I forget, what was that band. Reminds me of that band, I forget what they were... yeah, the uh... yeah, Camper Van Beethoven, yeah.
BA: Reminded me of those guys. But the thing I noticed, that there was no 'Take the Skinheads Bowling' song on the album, and I guess that's why that, y'know. Well I don't know.
GA: That's why it fell apart, actually.
BA: Yeah, I don't wanna say. I don't wanna say. I mean like, here. I'll say it later. When there's a bigger camera...
GA: ...On the Twitter.
BA: Yeah, on the Twitter. So, so we were asked to perform this song, and we were happy to because it's mostly treble and very little bass. And that's what we're about, we're about the high end.
GA: We're into the eighties. We weren't alive yet in the eighties, but we uh...
BA: We actually don't have ears, so we have no bass response.
GA: Exactly. That's why we like the high end.
BA: We need piercing high end. But one thing I noticed about this song, I don't know if you noticed this too, Green Avatar. Maybe you noticed. The song that we were asked to perform is actually the shortest song on the album, which is how we can afford so much stage time for this banter.
GA: Oh yeah, yeah, I noticed. I noticed. I got the message.
BA: The first thing I thought was like "...the fuck?"
GA: And then like, "Oh, well, stage banter. Suck on the stage banter!"
BA: Yeah, more time for stage banter..."Choke on this..."
GA: I don't know if there's a curfew, but...
BA: I hope there's a curfew. Fuck those guys.
GA: I hope so, yeah. All right!
BA: But then we thought, no, what would Bill and Hillary Clinton do? They'd find a third way, they'd find a third way! They're sticking in their big apartment in wherever they live, and they're thinking, y'know what? Write another verse. Write another verse. Change it! Make it better; make it stronger; turn it around!
GA: Yeah, violate the terms of the contract. Is what they would do.
BA: Tear it up, tear up the contract.
GA: Yeah. Gettin' rid of this. Yeah sure we'll play your song. Exactly as written. Oh yeah.
BA: Yeah, there's your contract T-M-B-HUH? So, we've got this full-length version of the song we'd like to perform for you now. We need a D chord before we can start... Thank you, Dan. And I just wanna say, I don't think those guys respect you enough. Mr Dan Miller, ladies and gentlemen. People, get it together.
In some predawn hour, wheels crackin' the road Semi engines idle and the trucks unload By the punchcard box, she writes her name And hears the voice comin' through the store PA
We need a rascal to information We need a rascal to information
In the morning sun, 'round seven o'clock The parking lot fills 'round Toys-Я-Us And my little girl, she will get away Ride her bike down Toddler Hiway Take your Close'n'Play Toddler Hiway Take your Close'n'Play Toddler Hiway
BA: Aw, the Avatars of They
GA: Avatars of They, people
JF: Your applause is their oxygen; your screams are their nitrogen. We need to see a sea of hands, people, sea of hands!