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King Weed
By: They Might Be Giants
Written: 1999
Professor Jablonski has interesting thoughts
Mr. Krulwich has lots to report
Another extinction's a worrisome thing, with all these species we'll lose

Professor Jablonski says some creatures are weeds
They grab hold of life like a weed
When his examples were weeds, then I had to agree
But if you talk metaphorically
There's no bigger weed than me

King Weed
King Weed
That's what they would call us human beings
King Weed
King Weed
But no one'll be around to disagree with me
King Weed

Roaches survived five extinctions before
I guess they are good, but I don't know what for
 
Dandelions can adapt and renew
Seems like they grow best right under my shoe
 
What about the adaptable and rugged housefly?
Their life is so lousy they're too tired to die
 
Mice can survive another ice age intact
A mouse can't survive a single night with my cat
 
Now house cats, they're also right here on the list
Good luck to a cat with no Kibbles 'n' Bits
 
Sparrows will survive, in the sky they ascend
If you like eating worms, then I guess you'll have friends
 
Worms, oh yes worms, he said they'll be around
And they're living like kings in their holes in the ground
 
There you have it, Mr. Koppel, that is our report
As subjective as it might seem
Professor Jablonski's a very kind man
But don't underestimate the
King Weed
King Weed