Lyrics:Hodgman Promo 3

Woman: What's going on with Felipe Olivera?

Hodgman: When John Hodgman needed a subletter for his apartment, Olivera said he was the man for the job.

Woman: But his resume tells a different story.

Hodgman: Turns out, Olivera was not just a local waiter, but also a Portuguese hypnotist.

Woman: Say what?

Hodgman: Turns out, Felipe Olivera also goes by the name of PHIL MOORE.

Woman: Run that by me again?

Hodgman: What Olivera doesn't want you to know is that when he skipped out on twelve hundred dollars worth of back-rent, Hodgman's landlord described Olivera as a deadbeat.

Woman: Deadbeat...

Hodgman: And said that Olivera had been caught masturbating out the window.

Woman: Masturbating out the window...

Hodgman: On two separate occasions.

Woman: Cat out of the bag, Mr. Olivera? John Hodgman is a better choice.

Hodgman: He has never practiced hypnosis.  Never used an alias. And has only masturbated out the window once.

Woman: Olivera...deadbeat...masturbator...hypnotist...

Hodgman: Grant John Hodgman a summary judgment against Felipe Olivera, and let him move on with his life.

Woman: After all, it's time to rebuild, not masturbate out the window.

Paid for by the friends of John Hodgman.