Lyrics:Best Of Spin The Dial

[Radio broadcasts in quotation marks. Everything outside quotation marks
spoken or sung by Mr. John Flansburgh.]

On. Off. On.
"Spirit coming from the Father..."
Off.

Let's play Spin the Dial, shall we, fellas?

"...on upon your favored people
May your blessings be outpoured..."
Outmoded form of singing
Archaic and strange
Never to return to Earth
Except in your bad dreams
Help me, help me, help me you cry
But no one comes to your aid
The archaic voice of the past
Will never be forgiven

"...so please have a little pity
Pity on me..."

"...J.B.R., J.B. Robinson—J.B. Robinson..."

"...The shades go down, it's in her head..."
I'm blind, I'm so blind
I'm a lonely man
And I'm singin' like a blind guy
I'm singin' like I'm blind
And I'm old
I'm so fuckin' old
I'm blind with long scraggly hair
And I live in a cave
I live in a cave with all my monkey friends
This is an honest reflection of my personal expression
I've got long blonde flowing hair
And I live in a cave with my monkey friends
And I sing like an ape
What the fuck is wrong with me?

"...classic rock..."

"...and reduce cranking time..."

[jazz instrumental]
I worked in a parking lot on F Street
I worked in a parking lot on F Street
Man, that job was bad
But I didn't have to pay Social Security
Not sure why, not sure why
I didn't have to pay Social Security like that

"...that's a nice goal"
"It's very important to me to do that"
"What are you waiting for?..."

The mystery of silence.
A little more mystery of silence.

Spinning the dial.

"...And I notice it's turning
While my guitar gently weeps..."
[Flans babbles backwards-sounding gibberish, imitating George Harrison's vocal tone]

"...wherever you go..."

"...where would we be
Without the love of a woman?..."
Gospel inflection
Nobody knows for certain
But nothing's free
I got gospel inflections
And nobody's certain
About me

You know, my heart's been broken so many times
These amphetamines just keep on workin', and they feel so damn good
But I know, baby, deep down inside you want me to change
But sadly, I can't change cause I'm a creepy creepy man
Upsetting and unpleasant
At the core of my being, unlovable

Gospel inflection
Misdirection
You can't like me
No matter what you say

"...plus everyone who joins the VIL club in October is qualified for
a random drawing to win $500..."

"It never threw me like this ignored..."
Second band on the rock festival stage
We're the second band on the rock festival stage
Second band
Held out for that position

"...na na na na na na..."
Got long hair and a beer voice
Long hair and a beer voice
I'm a very troubled man
I'm wearing ladies make-up
And long feminine hair
But I've got a very masculine,
A very masculine voice
I've got long hair
I'm wearing make-up and concealer
I'm sponsored by Maybelline
But I've got a masculine masculine voice
I'm a paradox
A cultural paradox

"...97-2578, or if you're in the Toronto area 416..."

[Playing along with another jazz instrumental]

"...Thank you, thank you. So rarely do we have a show... so rarely do
we have a show that gives virgin ears of the musically deprived the
opportunity to experience such great unattained music from that of
mainstream garbage. What a..."

[Radio turned off, audience cheers, on to the next song]