It's About A Kidnapping
I've never made an interpretation before, so bear with me
I feel like this entire song is basically about a kidnapping, from the kidnapper's point of view. However, it's all jumbled up, and not in sequential order.
First off, the beginning lines ("How could the street light blink on and off and spell out all your thoughts?") are just him introducing himself to the victim.
Then, we have the line "It’s only tea leaves stop being dramatic" is the narrator calming the victim whilst giving them some strong drug (maybe weed?).
He says something weird ("Everyone has got an alien in the gut. Someday it will emerge."), but he dismisses it ("That thing you thought you heard me say: I didn’t say that thing")
"Everyone has got a feeling in the gut" is the narrator telling the kidnapped that everyone gets the feeling of worry when they join him (leading to the kidnapping
The "telling you what to do" lines are about the kidnapper, well, telling the victim what to do while they're drugged and hallucinating.
The lines "Pretty soon you'll be telling me that you’ve had enough and you’re leaving me" is referring to the kidnapped realizing their situation and wanting to escape.
"Next thing you’ll be saying that I’ve been hallucinating you all along" is the narrator mocking the victim's claims of kidnapping as outrageous by alluding what other "odd" thing they'll say next.
The victim calls the cops, ("Middleburgh Police Department how may I direct your call?") but they're slurring ("Please speak more slowly") and can't be understood. The same goes for "Person I don’t recognize motioning to roll down the window".
It's about a person with mental issues
I think it's two people alternating speaking in a conversation, a mental doctor, & a mental patient with a bad case of apophenia (witch is a mental disorder when a person finds connections when there isn't any).
For example, the line "It's only tea leaves. Stop being dramatic." Or the line "Everyone has got an alien in the gut. Some day it will emerge. Don't look at me like that" probably indicating the mental patient saying some crazy stuff, & the doctor looking at them & thinking "What are you taking about." But that's just my take on it. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 188.8.131.52 (talk) 04:39, June 29, 2019